Crusader Kings III Is Finding Its Religion(s) in the By God Alone Expansion

Some people mistake the Crusader Kings series for dry, stiff historical simulations, and at a glance, it's an easy mistake to make. But the reality is that they're more like The Sims with the brakes cut. Did you know that a favorite community challenge in Crusader Kings III is eating the pope? And now, thanks to today's By God Alone expansion, you can eat a whole buffet worth of more realistically simulated popes! And, thanks to a hilarious and highly controversial achievement, install the holy cuck chair in your royal chambers.

No, really.

Not that this is the first time the game has asked players to do incredibly messed up things across history.

Nor will it be the last.

And this is why people keep playing these games, and why people keep buying the many expensive expansions, as they enable increasingly, exponentially more historical shenanigans. With the whole of medieval history to pick from, there are so many interesting stories you can tell when you have the option to Quantum Leap yourself into the driving seat of just about every real or fictional historical figure known to scholars.

Religion has always been an incredibly complex subject, though, which is why Paradox Interactive has poured all of that into this expansion. While many features are rolled into today's massive update for the main game, today's expansion finally lets players run their own theocracy, rather than letting the AI factions have all the fun. This expansion focuses mostly on European religion, so expect monastic orders, heresies, and religious schisms to cause additional wrinkles as you try to run your own little empire.

But if you're a secular leader, where does that leave you? Forgotten and alone? Obviously not. There's a whole set of mechanics for worming your way into religious orders and making clerical leaders within them into your puppets. And yes, with the right moves you can get the Pope dancing to your tune. Or sensuously dancing into your spouse's bedchambers, as that one achievement is cheekily encouraging.

As with all things Paradox, there is far, far too much to list here features-wise, and only a fraction of it will ever come up in any given playthrough of Crusader Kings III. But that's the joy of these games. Each new module adds a new layer of antics that you can get up to. I do wonder how the puppeteering system factors into things when your tummy gets the rumblies that only Popes could satisfy.

Crusader Kings III: By God Alone is out now for £17/$20, while the base game weighs in at a hefty £42/$50. One for the avid history buffs, or those patient enough to wait for the sales season to start.