Image: Cathedral of Attnam & Zeno Rogue

Oh wow, this is a blast from the past that I wasn't expecting. After a full quarter-century of development (the first public release was in 2001), the brutal slapstick roguelike IVAN–Iter Vehemens ad Necem - Violent Road to Death, to give its full title- is finally available on Steam, tuned up, refined, and expanded by a small but dedicated community after all these years. And better yet, it's free.

Now, be warned, this is a game from before 'roguelike' became a catch-all term for 'any game with procedural generation and choices'. This is a game in the style of the original Rogue. Or, perhaps, its bigger, thornier successor, Nethack. A procedural dungeon crawl with complex mechanics and absolutely no progression carried between runs, beyond your own knowledge of the game's systems.

And oh, what systems there are. IVAN is a game spoken of with both reverence and barely-concealed giggles amongst roguelike sickos. While it is theoretically possible to succeed or even thrive in IVAN, it is - for most - an experience in catastrophic, comedic failure. Every part of your body has its own health bar in this game, and unless you are very, VERY careful, you will lose limbs. This is not the end. Just the start of it.

It's not unusual to find yourself hopping around on one leg, with one arm, completely blind in the dark within minutes of entering the first dungeon. Tis' just a flesh wound, you see. While there's magic to replace lost body parts (often in tougher materials), it's not easily attained. Plus, this isn't your usual fantasy setting either. Ivan's world is harsh, cruel, and runs on a banana-based economy, with the people worshipping frogs in all of their forms.

And yet there's something compelling about it. Learning through catastrophic, spectacular failure is both rapid and entertaining. Much like Dwarf Fortress, the old adage of 'losing is fun' holds true here. This community-enhanced version is a bit more palatable than that half-finished prototype I played in my youth, though.

There are bugs fixed, content added, some semblance of balance, plus (if you really want it) the ability to play the game entirely in first-person 3D. It's still turn-based, and you move on grid lines, but it's an option! It probably won't help you get any closer to the multiple possible endings of the game (of which I have seen none), but it's just one more bit of quirky design, and I'm glad to see it made accessible to new players.

IVAN is out now on Steam for free. You can also get it directly from the Cathedral of Attnam community page, along with some other variant versions of the game. Good luck. You'll need it. You probably won't find it.